Mother's Day - Best Advice from Moms!

I know that Mother's Day is coming up this weekend and it is always so touching to see Mother's Day posts from friends who pay tribute to their mothers every year. I debated putting together a post, and in the end, since I think all mothers should be celebrated all year long, I finally decided to put up this post to start off the festivities.

I know that Mother's Day is hard for some, so I wanted to keep it simple this year and just share ten pieces of advice a few of my friends sent to me! 

"When you are facing a fork in the road, can't make up your mind and both paths are good then just follow your heart. You are not going to pick the wrong one" Beth Mayberry

"Pray first and ask for God's help and guidance. Prayer should not be our last resort." Jacquelyn Van Sant

"Always wear a hat. Your baby face + skin will thank you when you're 40." Aubry Lybbert

"Be all you can be!" Hanha Hobson

"A couple weeks after my wedding I was going over the things I would’ve done differently or thought out more thoroughly. My mom stopped me, mid-sentence, and said “Would you change who you married? Cause that’s all that matters.” I lost my mom not two months later and that thought has stuck with me ever since." Caley Gonyea

"The best time to look for a job is when you have one." Candice

"One of my favorite pieces of advice from my mom (and there are many) is financial. When I first went out on my own, my mom told me to choose a dollar amount (e.g. $100, $250 or $500) and make that my "zero" in my checking account. That way, if I ever had an emergency, I would always have that buffer, that safety net." Jacquelyn Van Sant

"My mother was a woman of God that inspired and challenged me to pursue him as well. She leaves behind pages from her bibles with notes of biblically sound truths. Looking through her bibles, I often think she was one of the original "bible journalers" out there. I often reflect on her words of wisdom each week since she [passed away] in November 2017. I've learned many lessons from her one of which is to fully trust God instead of worrying. I'm a person that can sometimes be full of worry instead of basking in the fullness of God's peace and assurance. My mother pointed me to many scriptures to get me back on track when I would tell her all the things that troubled or stressed me. Stress does nothing for us and my mom reminded me of this all the time. She would sometimes say "Danielle, don't you know that God is up there?" I'm reminded of Romans 8:28 when I think of her encouragement, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." This Mother's Day I remember her for her strength to raise me and opening up our home to several foster children. She and my dad who is also no longer on earth had a big heart for children. God blessed me to have them as they adopted me at birth. While it's heartbreaking that they are gone, I'm thankful for the wisdom that I've gained from my mom for 30 years and my dad for 15 years. My mom's wisdom inspires me to continue to grow and teach other young women in the same way." Danielle Wallace

"A good [peice of advice she gave me] is wear your coat!" 5th grader

"The best advice my mom gave me is if somebody is fighting with you just walk away." 5th grader

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What is the best advice your mother ever gave you?

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Two Years of Marriage & the Best Marriage Advice Ever Received

I can't believe it has been exactly two years since my husband and I officially tied the knot! It has been an exciting time, and I must say, I do love marriage. We have both learned and have grown so much, and I thought it would be fun to share what kind of marriage advice some of my blogging friends received when they got married.

Make each other a priority for the first year or so. Bible studies, volunteer opportunities, and other activities can wait. Build your foundation strong, and in Christ, and it will withstand everything that is to come!
- Abbey from Small Town Soul

Well.....here goes. "Argue naked." hat's the best light-hearted advice we were given. But a more serious piece of advice is evident in how my husband designed my engagement ring: the center diamond is as near perfect as he could get it and two smaller, imperfect diamonds on either side of the center one...to remind us that we were both two imperfect people held together by a perfect God.
- Heather from The Rescued Letters

The best advice (besides keeping God at the center, obviously) was that marrying someone with either the expectation they will change or the expectation they will never change will lead to unhappiness. We need to love someone through all the seasons of life. 
- Kate from Stumbling Toward Sainthood

I was told that when you are having a difficult conversation about something, remember to say words like "I feel..." instead of "you are ...." this keeps your spouse from feeling like you are just pointing fingers or placing blame.
- Morgan from My Pear Tree Home

My best marriage advice is: Go to bed angry! My Mema told me this and I rolled my eyes at her. But it was truly the best advice I ever received. Sometimes staying up and arguing or trying to talk through it makes us cranky, tired and miserable. Kiss good night, roll over and sleep on it. It's better to rest than speak as a fool. 
- Lauren from Bellows in the Berkshires

My best marriage advice is to make time for quality time! Go on a date, spend and hour really talking without distractions like your phone, TV or computer. Do a fun activity together! It can be hard to find time sometimes but it's so worth it! One hour a week of real meaningful quality time is really all it takes for a healthy thriving relationship. A worthy investment! 
- Lydia from The Evergreen Woods

 When we got married someone suggested that we keep track of how we spend every anniversary, even if it's a super simple date. Seems like something you'd remember but those little details fade fast. I love the idea of looking back after 20 years (or more) and reminiscing about each anniversary together. 
- Rebekah from The Tex-Mex Mom

Our best marriage advice was to have a weekly date night. It seems like it'd be impossible, but we made it through medical school & grad school, residency, and four years of my husband working in the ER while having two kids and only missed our weekly date a handful of times in 10 years of marriage. We had to get creative, but it has been incredibly fun and has kept us focused on each other, even when things were really challenging. 
- Angela from The Mango Memoirs

There will be days you don't like each other and days you'll argue over every single thing but there will also be the days that you can't imagine being anywhere else in your life and you'll fall in love all over again. Marriage is tough, especially in the beginning, but you can't let the tough days affect your every day. 
- Kristin from This Wife & Mommy Life

From Beth Moore in her Bible studies: We have a powerful influence over our man, but we must master timing. 
- Traci from Traces of Faith

Our pastor and his wife invited us to join their small group for newly married couples a month after we were married. The one piece of advice they gave that still stands out in my mind (almost 13 years later!) is to never use the phrases, "you always" and "you never", when arguing. It's alienating and rarely true.
- Crystal from Pennies and Playdough

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What's the best marriage/relationship advice you ever received?

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Women of Intention Week Thirteen: Cross-Generational Relationships/Mentorship

Welcome to week thirteen of the series, Women of Intention! We are almost finished the series and I'm so glad you've come along as we interview Women of Intention! For more information, and a list of topics, visit our introduction post HERE. 

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THIS WEEK'S INTENTIONAL WOMAN:

Today, we are going to meet Nina of Journey to Adulting.

Today, she will be talking to us about cross-generational relationships and mentorship. This type of relationship, we don't usually talk of often, but it can play a huge role in our lives once intentionally pursued. 

After reading this post, be sure to check out Nina's blog and share this post :)

Find Nina on Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest.

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Tell us a bit about yourself: What are your passions, work and interests?

I'm Nina. If there’s one thing that I’m consistently drawn to, it’s the study of people. I love learning about what makes us tick as humans, how culture shapes us and how we interact with others; maybe that’s partly why I’m pursuing an MA in counselling. So here I am, I just really love talking, reading and blogging about everything related to these topics.                                         

You have interest in cross-generational relationships. Could you briefly talk about this and tell us why you think it important?

I cherish cross-generational relationships because I am always learning so much from those who are older than me. They have so much wisdom to share just by virtue of experience. Some time ago, I remember attending a meeting where I had to give a yearly report. Afterwards, some members of the committee and myself went out for dinner. I distinctly remember sitting at the restaurant and realizing that everyone at our table was at least 15-30 years older than me. Far from being uncomfortable, I had this strong impression that there is so much wisdom and experience at this table. It was in that moment that I decided to be very intentional about learning from them. As I listened carefully and observed them, I found myself learning valuable lessons through basic things like conversation, how they treated the servers and mingled with their colleagues. They weren’t even aware that they were teaching me anything, but I picked up on precious lessons from the 2 days we spent together. In those 2 short days, I learned things that a lifetime in the classroom won’t really teach you.

How could one intentionally begin this type of relationship?

First, you need to be intentional about who you choose. Seek out someone who you respect and want to emulate. Look for someone who has characteristics that you value. Is there an older person in your life who exudes courage and strength? Unswerving integrity? Leadership?

Then, find a way to spend time with them. Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself, if you were them, what would you need? And then offer to help in that area. Maybe that means coming over to rake their leaves, help plan an event or just grabbing lunch together.

I believe that the best and most valuable learning doesn’t happen in the classroom, but in those little, unplanned moments when a simple question is asked, an object lesson is drawn or a situation is handled. So don’t think you’re wasting time by doing seemingly ordinary or mundane things together. You never know what you’ll learn or what stories you’ll hear.

What about mentorship? What benefits does mentorship have? Would you say it’s as important to search out someone to mentor as it is to find a mentor for oneself?

Yes, I would definitely say that mentoring someone is just as important as being mentored!. So far, I’ve been talking about cross-generational relationships with those that are older, but relationships with those that are younger are just as important!

I can’t speak enough about mentorship, it is has been one of the biggest blessings in my life (both as a recipient and a giver). I first discovered mentorship when I mentored a young man to become a leader for our campus ministries club. Watching him grow, sitting with him through difficulties, praying for him and sharing what I’ve learned has blessed me in so many ways. Not only has it made me intentional about everything I do (because I am being observed), but it also gives me a greater purpose than just living for myself. You grow from the experience and it is hard to put to words exactly what happens when you engage in these kinds of relationships, but it truly changes you.

These days, I’m always intentional about having a mentor in an area that I want to grow in. Having a mentor is so valuable because you are able to go to them with your questions, have no shame over your doubts and learn things that you can’t find in textbooks or online. In the same way, I’m always looking for someone to invest time and effort into. You won’t reap the full blessings of mentorship until you’ve both been a mentor and a mentee.

What would you say to encourage someone who is struggling in this area of their life; whether wanting to begin cross-generational relationships, mentorship or even becoming a mentor?

To those who are looking for a mentor, do not be afraid to be vulnerable enough to ask for help. Maybe, there is no one in your life that you can ask to mentor you, perhaps this means sending out an email to someone you’ve never met or asking for friends to tell you of people they know. In either case, it takes courage to ask for help, but the rewards are so worth it!

There are people who want to be a mentor, but feel like they have nothing to share. A good thing to try is to begin journaling and being intentional about noticing the lessons you’ve learned in life or the growth/progress you’ve made. Your story is an incredible resource of wisdom that you can share with others.

Look at the people in your circle and see if God is putting someone as a burden on your heart to spend time with. Investing in people is one of the most incredible things you will ever do.

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What about you? Were you inspired by this post? Have you had, or have you been a mentor? Why don't you tell me about it in the comments, and connect with me on social media?

(Don't forget to use the hashtag #WomenOfIntention16 so no one misses it!)